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After many years of "talking about it",
I finally managed (in the pub one night) to get those lazy arses
Close and Duncan (x2) interested enough to commit themselves to this venture. After months of planning, this was it!
The trip over was good - the sun was shining
(up until Whitehaven anyway!) and I had my Factor 50 on (sensitive
skin, just like the rest of me really!). Given the torrential downpours
in the few preceding days (weeks!), this was champion. We met up
at 10 o'clock as arranged. I had packed my rucksack lightly with
just the minimum or so I thought until I lifted it! However, this
was nothing compared to Peter D and Steven's rucksacks! They had
obviously packed for a 3-week jungle expedition, although they claimed
otherwise. Peter C was the professional and he had all the gear:
panniers, cleats & clipless pedals and a pink bike Barbie would've
been proud of!!!
At 11 o'clock, after getting the first stamp from a Whitehaven coffee
shop, "re-fuelling" on
bacon sandwiches and taking a few photographs, we were off. Started off gently,
in fact probably too gently given how flat it was. A few miles down the road,
stopped for another stamp at Cleator Moor. This was followed just before Loweswater,
by Peter D's puncture number 1 (after just 14 miles - soft-shite tyres & inner
tubes if ever there were any!). Steven's gears (professionally serviced the
day before!) were clanking & sounded extremely dodgy! The first big climb
- Whinlatter Pass - and bad news! Steven's knee was up like a pudding and there
was no way that he was going to complete the C2C! Made it to the visitor centre
and called his dad, who'd just got back after dropping him off that morning,
so that we could write-off his whole day rather than just the morning! Left
Steven (happily chomping TWO Cumberland sausage sandwiches) at the visitor
centre and set off for next stop Keswick.
Very steep downhill through Whinlatter forest - wouldn't like to
be cycling up it that's for sure!! Peter D's puncture number 2 (tarty
tubes strikes again!)
between Whinlatter and Keswick. Got into Keswick at about ten to five - only
three to four hours behind schedule! Refuelled (Lucozade Sport & a bag
of chips, from a shop Peter D obviously has shares in as it sounded like he'd
been there many times before!), another stamp and set off for Troutbeck.
Too late to go up the Old Coach Road so stayed on lower route. Eventually found
the right route out of Keswick. About half way there and the two Peters made
a complete arse of reading what distance was left! They managed to come up
with 4 miles, which may have been as the crow flies but not via this route!
After 4 miles we still had 4 miles to go! (Comment: these guys should take
up orienteering!). Eventually reached digs at 7:30, knackered! Peter C should've
kept his helmet on as he had a habit of whacking his head on the low beams
and door frames!
Lush meal and a few beers (sitting on soft seats!) at the Troutbeck Inn.
Hot, damn hot! Factor 50 on again. After
a full cooked breakfast (or scrambled egg on toast if you're
a tart), we set off with few groans after sitting on the bike
seat for the first time! Made great progress to Penrith - only
one delay - yes, you've guessed it - Peter D's puncture number
3! On to Langwathby via great downhill section; now I'm well
known for my caution down hills, but even I reached in excess
of 30mph so the two Peters must have been close to 40mph! On
through Renwick, battling against the head wind (Comment: what
happened to the well known tail wind across these parts?) to
the bottom of Hartside! I cycled (yes, cycled) up the road, whilst
Peter C&D walked (yes, walked) up the alternative route (unrideable
so they reckoned!). It may have been shorter but it certainly
took longer. Next came a BIG mistake (Peter C's idea) - something
to eat. Now, a sandwich or some other light snack would've been
fine. However, the Desperate Dan cow pie with two shovels of
chips and catering tin of beans each was, in hindsight, inappropriate!
We had put two stone on and could hardly fit through the door
when we left! The ride down to Garrigill should have been dead
easy. However, the wind was right in our faces and we all felt
like puking, so it became a bit of a slog! Just going out of
Garrigill when, yes, you've guessed it, Peter D's puncture number
4. At this point, late in the day and with two big climbs still
to go, a sort of delirium set in! It was probably a combination
of exhaustion, the sun and the cow pie but we ended up laughing
uncontrollably at nothing in particular! A group of walkers went
past looking at this sight and were overheard talking about care
in the community! After fixing the puncture, the last thing we
wanted when we set off from Garrigill, was to be confronted by
the steepest hill on the whole C2C route, but that's what happened!
We just laughed (uncontrollably, again) and plodded up (& up & up
- I admit, even I walked up the near-vertical steepest bit!)
and over and down to Nenthead. A soft drink and stamp at The
Miners Arms, one final push up to the highest point on the C2C,
over the top and down into Allenheads. Up the mile long high
street (with nothing but fields either side!) to The Allenheads
Inn (7pm), even more knackered than the day before!
Again, Peter C should've kept his helmet on as he kept whacking
his head on the low beams and door frames! (Comment: he would
make an excellent competitor
in the Observation round on The Krypton Factor!) He wasn't having much luck
- I offered to let him have the large bed but he insisted on using the toss
of a coin ("It's the only fair way") and (un)fortunately he lost!
Another good meal and a few beers, during which Peter C was very concerned
that we would get caught up in grouse shooting the following day. We gently
calmed his fears ("Shut up man Peter, everybody knows that doesn't start
till the glorious twelfth you plonka") and crashed out ready for the final
day.
Hot, damn hot! Factor 50 on again. Peter
C again mentioned grouse shooting during breakfast but we ignored
him! After a full cooked breakfast (or scrambled egg on toast
if you're a tart), we set off, straight into another climb out
of Allenheads (not too bad!) and on to Rookhope. We would have
got up the Rookhope climb faster if there hadn't have been a
group of females resting half way up. As they were female, Peter
D obviously couldn't ride straight past and so entered into a
10 minute chat (up!).
The ride along the moor at the top was probably the most fun
bit (wet & muddy
so naturally, we got covered!). Blasted along Waskerley Way and raced (some
other C2Cers) along The Derwent Walk. Refuelled at Rowlands Gill and went along
the Gateshead side of the Tyne. Usual greeting by a drunk/drugged local hurling
abuse from the riverbank just before we crossed the Swing bridge (just about
to hurl abuse back till we noticed he had a motorbike!). A few photos at The
Millennium bridge and a final push on to the cool sea fret of Tynemouth. We
had done it (at our age!) and no punctures for Peter D on the last day!!
Just imagine
for one moment the pride having competed against and conquered
the energy-sapping
hills………the savage heat and strong winds………the overwhelming feeling
of personal achievement……………..only to be greeted with: "Bloody
hell Derek, you look rough!" Joanne Close, as subtle as ever!
Met up with our back-up teams, a final photograph on the beach,
a final stamp at Tynemouth Metro station and a well-deserved pint
at The Turks Head.
There were
times when it was said "Never
again!" (at the end of the second day!) but upon reflection, I'm/we're looking forward to hopefully doing it all again
next year!!!
by
Derek Bousfield - 7 September 2002
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