- The Cyclists -


-
Home - NECCR - The C2C - The Riders - Sponsors - Our Trip - Gallery - Links - E-Mail - Guest Book -



The gallant souls who rode the trip are all listed below complete with short (thankfully!) profiles and mugshots that the 'FBI's most wanted' would be proud of.
 Most of the group work for the same company and are from the West Cumbria area
i.e. Workington, Whitehaven, Cockermouth.



WARNING
People of a nervous disposition or those who are prone to nightmares should not attempt to view this page.

However, if you have a problem with children or animals straying too close to the fire then feel free to print out any of the following photos to place on your mantelpiece!


- Due to the amount of images on this page be aware that it will take a while to load -
 

Allan ‘Knotweed’  Donald
 Probably one of the youngest to participate and about to be a father. If he’s as good at cycling as he is at fishing he should be in contention for the yellow jersey. His character is one that is not easily upset, and is one of the most pleasant people you could wish to meet first thing in the morning!

He likes to pretend he enjoys a whisky or two but was recently discovered asleep halfway through a session in Whitehaven.


Andrew ‘Flash’  Hardy
Andrew who cannot tell the difference between Tequila and water is hoping to succeed in completing the Lands end to John O’ Groats cycle ride in aid of the NECCR around the same time the rest of the team are attempting the measly C2C.



Angela
‘Angel’  Pearson
After a brief spell in alcohol rehabilitation at the age of 14, Angela completed her exams and started work as a “bird scarer” to help control the bird population. Unfortunately, due to her paralysing fear of birds, she didn't hold that position for long. One fortuitous day, during a bird scaring incident on the roof of one of the buildings, Allan Townson noticed her. He saw her ability to run around in circles screaming at the top of her voice and was immediately placed in charge of a paperwork system. The rest, as they say, is history. For volunteering to pick us up, she truly is…

p.s. This is not a picture of Angela, but like Angela this baby is not a fan of the camera.




Bob
‘it’s up to you lot, eh!’  Crawford
 Cycling the coast-to-coast was all Bob’s idea. How come he’s behind the wheel of the Venga-Bus (see Gill), and takes 2 weeks holiday in the middle of organising it all? Some doubt has recently been cast on Bob’s suitability for the role of driver. Although he has just bought a brand new Audi Quattro and would therefore seem an ideal choice, Bob has already drained the battery because he doesn’t seem to be able to get it out of the garage!
Furthermore, when he did go for a drive (in his other car!) he only ended up exchanging details with a fellow road user after re-designing the aerodynamics! However, it’s been pointed out that with Bob’s legs there’s no way we can let him out in public wearing Lycra - even “Catsuit” draws the line there! And he’s done very well raising money by telling people that he is doing the C2C – although we’re not sure that he mentioned that he is driving the van.
 Ps - He's a bit camera shy


 Chris  Carruthers
Chris is a all round sports man, who over the years has tried his hand at most sports, unfortunately Chris’s boredom threshold is very short and he will quickly move on to a newer more exciting sport. So if we notice the number of cyclists has fallen by one, half way through the second day, it will most likely be Chris having become bored ,spotted people doing naked Morris dancing and gone off to join them.


Chris ‘Ginger Spice’  Halliwell
If Chris maintains the position he usually adopts when walking into a pub he’ll be fetching up the rear of the pack. However, on the other hand the competitiveness shown by Chris during warm up sessions and on the go-kart track he could be up there with the leaders - a worry for “Catsuit”, especially if Chris wears the traditional Union Jack knickers of his namesake! He has already purchased a yellow jersey in anticipation of winning the race.


Chris ‘only if it’s more than 40 miles’  Tyson
 The only person who doesn’t cycle to work as “it’s not worth it because it’s so close”. Recently purchased a top of the range trip-meter for his bike, the only thing it doesn’t do is tell you how fast you are going.

Chris’s strategy is “I’m going to do it at my own pace and not with the lunatics”.


 Colin ‘Who Am I?’  Bell
Will Colin make it to Sunderland? And if he does, will he still be with our group? These are the questions being asked due to Colin’s ability of not knowing which meetings he’s going to, and sitting through entire meetings that he’s not supposed to be at.

 A great believer in carbohydrate loading, Colin is certain to be at the front of the queue at the chippy, where “make mine a double” is certain to be heard. Let’s hope he’s as keen when we get to the pub.


Conrad ‘Pitbull’  O’Neill
A reserved sort of character who doesn’t say much and doesn’t make his feelings felt. He is very shy around women and blushes when spoken to by them. He is riding with Richard Eastman hoping to use his dog as an emergency braking system.

N.B. You must read Conrad's tale of 'The Hedge and the Labrador' which you can find at the foot of this page.


Dave ‘Not that Valve’  Harrison
The only rider who doesn’t work with the rest of the team, but is due to start in the coming months, he lives in Arlecdon but is moving to Cockermouth, we think this has something to do with the regular beer sampling nights that are apparent there.

 As a keen motorcyclist we have been warned to check his bike before the start, to ensure he has brought the correct one and hasn’t hidden an engine on it somewhere.


Dave ‘Cat-Suit’  Kilburn
Dave likes anything in Lycra. He has been fervent in his bid to recruit others into the ‘Lycra club’; strongly encouraging the wearing of one-piece, cat suit, cycling out-fits – “they feel so good”. An old hand at the C2C, Dave will be only to willing to offer some advice to the first timers based on his previous experiences.

 However, this advice will only be available in the early stages of each day because since Dave found out the possible B&B sleeping arrangements he’s vowed to be at the front at the finish each day to ensure himself a suitable bed selection! All those in Lycra beware!


 Gill ‘Git In There’  Jackson
It’s quite a surprise to Gill’s friends that she’s actually going to participate on this trip given her fondness for picking up drunken injuries! We can only hope that she can negotiate sleeping policemen more successfully on a bike than on foot! In common with Snake-Hips, stairs seem to rank as a particularly challenging obstacle.

Gill really fancies herself as a bit of a Karaoke Queen and apparently does a mean Ricky Martin. She’s also a big Venga Boys fan - should be entertaining in Sunderland!! We don’t know where ‘Git in there’ originates from – we’ll just have to wait and see.


Helen ‘Snake-Hips’  Branthwaite
 ‘Snake-Hips’ originates from a much-practised drink-induced dance. During the organisation of the trip, all accommodation was booked with the request of no stairs, as a result of Helen’s incapacity to manage them whilst under the influence of alcohol - of which Helen is regarded as one of the elite consumers!

She is a fitness instructor but does not yet realise how gruelling the course could prove to be on a certain part of her anatomy.




Ian
‘Fingers’  Finlay
 Named ‘fingers’ for his ability to put them where they are not supposed to be! He has shares with Elastoplast and Band-Aid, although since his time behind a desk their profits have dropped dramatically. In fact their financial future is only secure as a result of Ian’s recent purchase of a compound saw, and his long list of future DIY projects.

 A bit of a dark horse, rumour's are beginning to emerge that he’s been more Scottish than Scott is, in reeling in sponsorship money. Concerns have also been voiced that Ian may enlist the help of his near-identical twin-brother, in order to carry out the old “oh! suddenly I’m at the top of this hill” trick, or the famous “oh! suddenly I’m in Sunderland hours before you lot” stunt. We’ve provided pictures of him and his brother to help you spot the difference.


 John ‘Slickrock’  Norton
The group Guru! The 150 miles of the C2C is no more than a gentle warm up for John, who is more used to the near vertical ascents and descents found in Moab in Utah - the Mecca for mountain bikers. “Slickrock” is the name of one of John’s more memorable trails there.

He’s not infallible though - as he discovered the hard way when he lost an argument with a car on Cockermouth Main Street last year. He did get a very flash bike through the insurance claim though and those disc brakes may have to be fixed on to help the rest of us keep up!


Mike ‘Cod Head’  Spencer
This name originates from the fact that his birthplace is Fleetwood (say no more). Inexplicably seems to have difficulty trying to talk whilst cycling up the slightest of hills and has been trying to source a portable bottle of Oxygen for the trip. This loathing of hills has convinced him to take up sailing (he is feverishly working on adapting his bike with a sail). He’s sure the hills will not be quite as steep in this sport. Watch for Mike in someone’s slipstream.


Mike ‘T-shirt’  Travis
 Mike, has gained his nickname from the old saying “seen it, done it (literally!) and got the ‘T shirt”. As such, he is the unique recipient (i.e., only male) to win the coveted secretaries’ award for outstanding effort and commitment! Mike, is also known for his DIY exploits and is currently renovating a house in Cockermouth/Gosforth.

It is half expected that Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen will have to come round to put things right afterwards!


 Neil ‘it’s in Hand’  Henderson
Wants to be in charge of navigation now that he has GPS assistance! Just as well really - some colleagues were recently traumatised by one of Neil’s post-breakfast night-time walks. If Neil had had GPS then it’s widely believed that the walk would’ve been completed by lunchtime! One of the resident computer wizards. 

Neil has several jobs ‘in hand’, all of which involve a macro specifically designed to complicate tasks that were relatively simple to everybody else before he modernised them! Neil is a keen sailor who can be seen sailing on most lakes and the sea. But being a true Scot, he has yet to purchase his own vessel and no-one knows where his bike will come from!!


 Phil ‘Stringfellow’  White
Allegedly one of the 10 richest men, in Whitehaven. Phil actually has a full staff in his employment (they are the other 9 - allegedly!) and is rumoured to be donating a bottle of vintage champagne, from his own private cellar, to each of the C2Cers!.

Hopefully Phil will turn up at Sunderland with the minibus as no one has seen him for 3 days


Richard ‘I’m not going to make it easy for myself’  Eastman
Not blessed in the height department, Richard always appreciates a helping hand or stool to get onto his bike. Likes a challenge and is willing to carry anyone’s luggage and is on hand to tow the Venga-Bus if the driving gets too tiring for Bob.


 

Richard ‘Big bird’  Green
Unlike the other Richard, Richard was first in the queue when God was handing out height pills. The bike shop quite literally saw him coming a mile off. They had been trying to sell that bike for many-a-year. Oddly, there is just not the same demand for penny-farthings these days.

 Richard is the only rider not concerned about Hartside, as he is halfway up already!


 Roy ‘Hyper’  Redshaw
 The team Billy Whizz, Roy has never been seen to do any task sedately, which must be due to high sugar levels as a result of all those chunky Kit-Kats! Roy is still desperately seeking his ideal bike. He is looking for a machine with 64 teeth on the front ring and 6 on the rear. This should take him to Sunderland in approximately 12.5 turns of the pedals, although he will need a little help pushing off from Whitehaven.

 Roy is the other computer wizard and is a natural sportsman - he is an accomplished skier and snow-boarder! And is looking forward to giving it a try sometime.


 Scott ‘I haven’t got many friends’ Kinnear
Another dad-to-be, Scott is keen to maximise this last opportunity of freedom for a while. Scott, being a Scot who’ll do anything for a free drink, has made an excellent effort in raising sponsorship.

It is rumoured that his desire for a free drink is so strong, (the person who has raised the most sponsor ship money will receive a free drink off each rider) he may have donated a large portion of the sponsor money himself. May have to dig deep to fend off a late challenge from “Fingers”!


 Steve ‘Dorothy’  Brinsden
 Named Dorothy because of the new cycling shoes he recently purchased in which he can do anything. A strong contender for the ‘King of the Mountain’ title where his ‘magic shoes’ are sure to play a big part. Likes to pick on the ‘big boys’ when playing pool and does a good impersonation of a dead dog.

Special note:  Not a good traveller when full of drink.


Steve ‘Big Girlie’  Sharples
Aptly named Big Girlie because he used to play the girlie game of rugby league, not the mans’ game of rugby union. Steve has the natural physique for slip streaming, keep an eye on the en-route photos. Can you guess who will be in his slipstream? ‘Big Girlie’, like ‘Dorothy’ will be one to watch, even if for somewhat different reasons.

With his name on the support-vehicle insurance, Steve is likely to play the “I’m giving Bob a break” card at any time.


Tom ‘Bus Pass’  Gardner
 An excellent negotiator!  On a recent management-training course Tom decided to give himself a thorough workout and went for a run. Unfortunately his sense of direction was off kilter and he got lost. Just as desperation was setting in and after much scrambling about in the woods, Tom managed to find a road whereupon he managed to successfully blag a lift back to the hotel on a local bus despite not having the fare!

Will have to be watched carefully at bus stops to ensure he doesn’t try a repeat performance. Also worth ignoring him with regard to directions!


Tracey ‘Pots’  Pyper
Tracey is clearly a very keen cyclist. Why else would she want to go on a trip, with a group of people she doesn’t know, the large majority of whom are male, at the peak of fitness and will be wearing shorts? But do they have the “Pot”? And are they quirky enough? With those “great legs” she was welcomed as a member of the team by the “Pots”.


Rob Scott

Unfortunately due to hospitalisation Rob might not be able to make the ride, but intends to greet us at certain points along the way.
 Rob is an absolute cycling expert. In the past he has completed the C2C and back again in less than 24 hours! MAD. He's a member of Wasdale mountain rescue team, likes pot holing - INSANE. Started Lands End to John O’ Groats on his bike last year but after too many close shaves decided to call it a day. Basically looks like he's just stepped in from the Tour De France, he could probably take a bike to bits and put it back together again blind folded.
 An all round great bloke, who would have been an absolute gem to have taken on the ride with us, so hopefully he'll be able to join us now and again along the way.


Conrad's Funny Dog Story !
One of the riders taking part in this sponsored C2C trip is Conrad O'Neil, Conrad is renowned for the way in which he plunges his heart and soul (and wallet) into everything he does. Conrad has a Fireblade motorbike with carbon wheels and trims as well as the has the best leathers money can buy. The same rules apply to his cycling, he has recently spent a kings ransom on new shocks, hydraulic disc brakes -front and rear -as well as all the usual (or unusual) gismos that you can possibly buy for a bicycle. So out he went on his new-fangled steed for a training run, heading down a back road towards the beach when he saw a couple with a dog in the distance, the couple graciously pulled the dog to one side whereupon Conrad starts to accelerate down the hill.  Unbeknown (for now!) to Conrad the couple had another dog with them which happened to surprise him. Conrad's new fangled brakes failed to stop him and he ended up in the hedgerow with a slightly rearranged front wheel, bruised pride and covered in what you would expect to find in hedgerows where people walk their dogs! The moral of the story is that if its stopping power you want don't bother with fancy brakes just buy a Labrador!
The good news is that Conrad was unhurt - apart from the aforementioned bruised pride- and the couple in question have offered to pay for his front wheel to be realigned. The bad news is that we have long memories and an evil sense of humour!

back to the top